Israel is a country
surrounded on all sides by enemies, but the people’s headaches are caused by the neighbors upstairs.
Israel is one of the few places in the world where the sun sets into the Mediterranean Sea.
That truly likes and admires the United States.
Israel is the only country in the world where the coffee is already so good that Starbucks went bankrupt trying to break into the local market.
Whose soldiers eat three sets of salads a day, none of which contain any lettuce (which is not really a food), and where olives ARE a food and even a main course in a meal, rather than something one tosses into a martini.
Where one is unlikely to dig a cellar without hitting ancient archaeological artifacts.
Where the leading writers in the country take buses.
Where the graffiti is in Hebrew.
That has a National Book Week, during which almost everyone attends a book fair and buys books.
Where the same drivers who cuss you and flip you the bird will immediately pull over and offer you all forms of help if you look like you need it.
With bus drivers and taxi drivers who read Spinoza and Maimonides.
Where no one cares what rules say when an important goal can be achieved by bending them.
Where reservists are bossed around and commanded by officers, male and female, younger than their own children.
Where “small talk” consists of loud, angry debate over politics and religion.
Where the ultra-Orthodox Jews beat up the police and not the other way around.
Where inviting someone “out for a drink” means drinking cola, coffee or tea.
Where bank robbers kiss the mezuzah as they leave with their loot.
That introduces applications of high-tech gadgets and devices, such as printers in banks that print out your statement on demand, years ahead of the United States and decades ahead of Europe.
Where everyone on a flight gets to know one another before the plane lands. In many cases, they also get to know the pilot and all about his health or marital problems.
Where no one has a foreign accent because everyone has a foreign accent.
Where people cuss using dirty words in Russian or Arabic because Hebrew has never developed them.
Where patients visiting physicians end up giving the doctor advice.
Where everyone strikes up conversations while waiting in lines.
Where people call an attaché case a “James Bond” and the “@” sign is called a “strudel”.
Where there is the most mysterious and mystical calm ambiance in the streets on Yom Kippur, which cannot be explained unless you have experienced it.
Wwhere people read English, write Hebrew, and joke in Yiddish.
Tags: Hebrew, Israel, Israelis